Grief has the same secrecy 

as an empty tic tac box filled with

puddle water. The parachuting 

man we hid in the petrol cap 

of your Mum’s car, quick stolen, 

the handkerchief I buried in the trees.

I liked the embroidery. I like it now,

this grief and its stitches, it makes

me flower even through snot. Things

fly past the planet, roaring. I like

the axis, the counting down. Nostalgia

is a cutie, bean-filled Totoro.

The whirl of fur he lived in. His ancient

teeth that ripped me, the bad quality,

we went all over the world in love.

Paws are unshook hands- yet I'm shaken.

Don’t worry Dog, I’ll find you. In galaxies,
through death. I’ll always be your person.

In the pink room we have found

each other, you in the blue sling

and I deep in the dreams that

I have for you. It is raining post-

heatwave and I am glad your tiny

feet are cold as shells, my heart-

beat pressed up hard against

your ear. Nothing can touch us

now. Your duckling hair is real,

as you are- I never thought we’d

get this far. I had you in mind for

so long you’re still made up, an

unbuilt world. Sometimes you 

chirp and I realise you’re here,

hot little hands in a grip, how 

serious you are. When your eyes

open they are in flint, intent, 

certain in some cold burning that

you've been here before. Wrap me 

up in that, I like it. I like you a lot

small policeman. You are the icing

on the ocean- a dot! And when you're 
asleep I transcribe every breath,

golden crest, tiny bird, new entire.

Oh Hai canary, I see you

climb. If I were a mine then

you would come up singing

radical, a silver-edged

fresh yellow pipe with white

sound, pine moondial. & how

bird- magicked, our best trick,

are you glued only by light?

The years of feeding Twiglets

through neverending channels of

canvas, trying to make a home of

me, for you eggling. Now you spur

with courage, the burgeoning heat

of a bobbin. Don’t fret birdie,

we’ll spin our endless nest from

every better thing we ever did

and you can rest, quiet in your

pink terrarium. So, buffering in

your life pod, we’ll do for you,
and you will do for everything.